


Five Things Jack Hodgins Is Not Allowed At Home

by Hagar



Category: Bones (TV)
Genre: 5 Things, Collection: Purimgifts Day 3, Domesticity, F/M, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-02
Updated: 2012-03-02
Packaged: 2017-11-01 00:18:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/349910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hagar/pseuds/Hagar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five things Jack is firmly Not Allowed to do at home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Things Jack Hodgins Is Not Allowed At Home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BridgetMcKennitt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BridgetMcKennitt/gifts).



##### 1\. Fix Anything

Things break. It's in the nature of _things,_ even when they're expensive and well-maintained. (And Jack doesn't keep things to the standard of his old family mansion; Angela doesn't want him to, either.) The first time a light bulb burnt, Jack tried to _make_ a new one. When it was a leaky tap he mixed up the cement from scratch, and Angela had to throw out half the pans and they nearly had to get a new countertop for the kitchen. The second time a light bulb burnt it was a fluorescent one, and Angela refuses to talk about that.

 

* * *

 

##### 2\. Home Improvement

 _But Angie,_ Jack says, _I wasn't trying to **fix** anything!_

Angela rolls her eyes at him. _Then you shouldn't have been tinkering with it, Hodgins, should you?_ She can see the protest coming, and she nips it at the _But._

 _Our home is not the lab,_ she says, firmly. _Keep your experiments where they belong, okay, honey?_

 _But Dr. Saroyan is at the lab,_ he says.

 _And you think you can do things at home Camille forbids you to at work?_ Angela asks, eyebrows raised.

He thinks about it for a moment, and asks, _Should I make us dinner reservations?_

 

* * *

 

##### 3\. Cook

She said Yes to a romantic message spelled out with fluorescent shrimps. It seemed all very romantic and appropriate for the both of them, at the time; with the perspective of hindsight, Angela knows that it was a grave mistake.

Hodgins likes Making Things, he likes showing his competence, and he doesn't have much of a concept of _boundaries._ That alone is a recipe for four new kitchens a year and also, colourful fungi are cool at the lab, not in her smoothie.

That was before her darling husband discovered molecular cooking, scoffed, and decided to make it truly molecular.

 

  


 

* * *

 

##### 4\. Engage in Artistic Endeavors with Michael

Babies need to experiment. Angela wouldn't argue against that. She would also be the first argue _for_ babies experimenting with colours and textures and layouts, with the foundations of art and artistic sensitivity.  Her husband, however, is not a baby. That he is Not A Baby means that his experimentation is elaborate and grand, and lacking in developmental justification.

Jack is not allowed paint, not aquarelles, not pastels and certainly not her oil paints. He is not allowed mosaic tiles. He is not allowed anything requiring glue, brushes or a sewing needle. And above all, he is not allowed _glitter._

 

* * *

 

##### 5\. Bring "Pets"

Angela likes dogs, cats and some rodents. She dislikes the meaner rodents; caged birds upset her; and she prefers pets she can pet, unlike fish. She's not even sure fish are actually _pets._ She is certain that snakes are not, because pets shouldn't eat other pets. She's similarly certain that spiders are not, in fact, pets, and neither are other insects. (Spiders are not insects, Jack protests.) Jack wanted to install a wall-sized ant farm; brings home flies and wasps, spiders and worms; and that's to say nothing of that time he'd cooed to a cockroach instead of swatting it.


End file.
